just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
