Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
