Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
