we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
