i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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