It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
