is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I wear drunk well.
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