just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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