I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Randomize
