Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
