I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
