whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
