I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
