I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
