Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
