So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
be right there i have to get my cape
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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