honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
