Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I need to sanitize my soul.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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