There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
