We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
