Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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