and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
