Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
