life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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