And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
