The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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