hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
