I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
