Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
