Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
