you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
