I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
