I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
