Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
