i don't like sucking hair
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
