I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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