what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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