you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
