i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Randomize
