do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
