this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
