I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Will exercising make me less horny?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
