is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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