How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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