so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize