i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
