I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize