I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Randomize