Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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