3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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