Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
