I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
