there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Randomize