i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
