im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
