Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
