i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
This is the high leading the old right now
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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