I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize