Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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